vanilla raindrops

email: noreia@planet-save.com.

This is my blogchalk:
United States, California, sometimes Steiermark, Austria, something bored teenagers say when they speak useless words into brick walls of cotton candy, English, German, Noreia,creative writing, fiction, reading, college student, strange, cat power, mogwai, arap strap, dresden dolls, white oleander, the earth, my butt, and other big, round things, welcome to the dollhouse, fuckers.

body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by BodyPUNKS!

 

stopped suddenly by

this mono no aware,

i breathe, want to cry

God, how to express what this school has become to me?  the place where i am silent and locked inside myself, yet feel so interconnected.  i've fed off of people's words, words of personal power and truth and integrity, and i've come away with the message: it's okay to be yourself. 

fuck my words, they can't express any of it. 

yesterday i read a story about a girl who used to paint as a child, who tried to paint a sunset, the night sky full of stars.  but she felt that whenever she painted something, she stripped it of some of its beauty.  that is how i feel now, fumbling with these words.

a girl passes, a hint of cloves: imagined.

an almost-stranger gives me mono no aware on lined notebook paper.

and a hundred feet away, outside the window behind the woman at the library's reference desk, all i can see are trees, pine-green, triangles pointing up to the rainy sky.  a blue-grey haze behind them, and it looks like a forest out there.  i can almost believe that if i step outside, i will be in austria again.  the air will be so clean you want to cry, my body will sigh and drop all these years, all these locks and keys. 

http://www.sleepnet.com/disorder.htm  <-- i don't know what that is.  i pressed control v for "paste" on this library computer, and that's what someone before me had copied.

the cherry flowers have faded

here in the reign of mortality

here in the weary rain.

-- kokinshu, poem 113

arvo part

  My heart's in the Highlands, my heart is not here,
     My heart's in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer;
     Chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe,
     My heart's in the Highlands, wherever I go.  

Farewell to the Highlands, farewell to the North,
     The birth-place of Valour, the country of Worth;
     Wherever I wander, wherever I rove,
     The hills of the Highlands for ever I love.

My heart's in the Highlands, my heart is not here,
     My heart's in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer;
     Chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe,
     My heart's in the Highlands, wherever I go.

Farewell to the mountains, high-cover'd with snow,
     Farewell to the straths and green vallies below;
     Farewell to the forests and wild-hanging woods,
     Farewell to the torrents and loud-pouring floods.
     

-- robert burns

that there, that's not me

i go where i please

i walk through walls; i float down the liffey

i'm not here; this isn't happening.

in a little while, i'll be gone

the moment's already passed

yeah, it's gone

and i'm not here,

i'm not here

strobe lights and blown speakers

fireworks and hurricanes

and i'm not here, this isn't happening

i'm not here, i'm not here

-- radiohead

Posted by: noreia at 13:45 | link | comments (2) |