vanilla raindrops

email: noreia@planet-save.com.

This is my blogchalk:
United States, California, sometimes Steiermark, Austria, something bored teenagers say when they speak useless words into brick walls of cotton candy, English, German, Noreia,creative writing, fiction, reading, college student, strange, cat power, mogwai, arap strap, dresden dolls, white oleander, the earth, my butt, and other big, round things, welcome to the dollhouse, fuckers.

body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by BodyPUNKS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i started the conversation. i actually did the right thing.

I. we went out for coffee so i could tell you i'm going to austria and denmark. you took it well because you were expecting worse news. the chairs there are so dark and smooth. i wanted to ask you, do you ever just stare at the sky? does the world ever freeze in your eyes, in snapshots, in stillframes of beauty?

II. i don't remember which of us started calling you Beautiful Guy. you sit there at the table against the brick wall, under your headphones, reading. you always wear black. your hair is black. you are so pale, your features so thin. it always disappoints me, somehow, to see you actually talking to people. it doesn't fit our view of you as Deep Dark Beautiful Guy. i thought of going there last night, i thought of writing you a note. because if someone thought i was beautiful, i'd like it if they told me.

III. i saw you first holding a candle to your nose. a green one, i think. you were so tall and thin, probably more so than anyone else in the store. worn grey skater shoes with no socks. tight jeans, ripped and written on at the back pockets. short-sleeved plaid shirt. messy brown hair all around your thin face. i caught your eye and let my mouth turn up in the hint of a smile. there was an undefinable emptiness there, in your eyes. you looked so young. you looked back at me a few times as you made your way to the cash register. looked into my eyes. we ended up behind you in line, watching you. what were you buying? i don't remember. only two items -- one practical and one other. a candle? i don't remember.

IV. it was strange, sitting there with him. you played guitar a table away. i wonder if you still have my story. i gave it to you and regretted it. after you told me how you felt, you asked if it made me uncomfortable. i said no. what did you expect me to say? you've had probably three of my lifetimes. seeing you brings back insecurities. i wonder if you realized that i was sitting with the man in my story. maybe you thought we were dating. that would have been funny. that would have been nice.

V. dear God.

VI. dear God, we are annoyed. we think it is annoying. we are annoyed.

VII. dear God, we are annoyed with the way you regulate our lives. you don't let us get out of line. we want what we want and you hinder us. what is it to you? no one cares what you think. "if there is anyone present who gives a damn what God thinks, please raise your hand."

VIII. dear God. we are so happy. you gave us more than we could ever have dreamed for ourselves. you created us to love each other.

IX. dear God, we need you. as soon as we start to leave you, the world gets dark and small. we need you to open our eyes and our minds. to help us, we are stupid humans. to help us, we tend to destroy. i have hated you and i need you.

if the water should cut my mind, set me free.

Posted by: noreia at 08:38 | link | comments (3) |