vanilla raindrops

email: noreia@planet-save.com.

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body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by bodyPUNKS!

body jewelry by BodyPUNKS!

 

spaceships over glasgow

happy september 26th day. jen's birthday.

today i cleaned my neighbor's house while her brown and black dachshund joey sniffed at my jeans.

then i went to walgreens and bought three bottles of root beer for a dollar. i thought about giving some to the construction workers in the parking lot, but then i thought they might think i was flirting with them and they were scary. and they already had a bottle of water. so i missed out on those karma points.

but i did give spike a root beer.

spike and i went to rasputin music and starbucks and target in the evening. it was nice at first -- i really like that shopping plaza. but then we went into taco bell (spike got a quesadilla) and it was so harshly flourescent-bright, and the workers were cleaning up and the only people there were strange men. it seemed really late at night in there. as we walked out again, across the huge open parking lot, a sinking feeling covered me. we sat down on a curb and i stared out at the night lit up by glowing colorful lights in storefronts. suddenly everything that had looked so normal there before looked so terrible. scary and horribly depressing. and, as usual when that feeling comes over me, i found it extremely difficult to talk. i said to spike, quietly, "dude, i don't like it here. it's really depressing all of a sudden." we sat for a moment and i covered my eyes with my fists and listened to mogwai asking, in that low, smooth mellow voice, "what would you do if you saw spaceships over glasgow?" spike asked if i wanted to go somewhere, and i said, "yeah, can we just leave?"

so we got up and started walking toward the car, and i tried to explain to her more of what i was feeling, how everything was closing in and was drained of all joy and hope. how it scared me. but before we got to the car i remembered that i wanted some blue christmas lights from target.

so we went to target. and even as we drove across the parking lot and got out of the car, i started to feel relieved. like the sinking despair was draining out of me. like i could float above it again.

then we went into target and i already felt a lot better -- i actually forgot how terrible i'd felt moments before. we looked all around the store. i bought a huge blue storage bin for the sloppy junk in a corner of my room. (we had fun trying to lift it off the shelf and into the cart.) and i bought a bright green plastic jack o' lantern that would glow when you plugged it in. it was made out of a foamy hard plastic that felt so great under my hands. and i bought the blue lights (spike got green). our rooms will glow in cool, relaxing dream-colors.

there is a tiny, white tea-light candle in front of my computer screen. its flame is flickering to mogwai's soothing voice.

in target, there was a little boy staring at one of the video game screens. he had bleached blond (or naturally yellow) hair and black-rimmed glasses. he was so thin and small in his big grey shirt. i whispered, "spike! look at that kid! he's so cute! budddddddy . . ." we were laughing a lot about the boy and about our shopping cart holding a gargantuan plastic bin with a lime-green pumpkin face grinning on top of it, when suddenly we heard laughter to spike's left, and this tall black guy was laughing with us. it was lucas-pierre, a kid i knew from high school. his name's actually pierre, but when a girl i knew introduced me to him, he said his name was lucas (don't ask me why), so when he later said, "no, it's really pierre," i didn't know what to believe, so i told him i was going to call him lucas-pierre, and i did ever since. today i told him that his target name tag was wrong -- it was missing half of his name. he said, "yeah, i've been meaning to talk to them about that." i said, "don't worry, i have a marker in my pocket -- i'll fix it." and we laughed.

spike is sleeping now in my room. my hair is wet and i smell incense from denise's room. my seven-year-old brother is walking around the house in pink pajamas. this is normal.

june 16th.

Posted by: noreia at 22:48 | link | comments |